Posted by Tom Thayer in 
HIV & Dating
This topic is a huge one among HIV+ people looking to get into a serious relationship. The big “What If?” Here are some important things to remember.
Some people find it easier at first to only date other HIV-infected people. If you choose to start dating only HIV-infected people, there are HIV-positive dating services on the Internet. Also consider taking personal ads in publications targeted to HIV-positive people. NOTE! – Dating only other HIV-infected people does not mean safer sex, specifically condom use, can be ignored. Even between two HIV-positive people, safer sex and condoms are a must with each and every sexual encounter because of the risk of re-infection.
Talk to other people living with HIV who have begun to date. Ask how they disclosed, what the experience was like, and if they have any advice for someone just entering the dating world. Be prepared for a reaction after you disclose. It is hard to predict what that reaction will be, ranging from supportive understanding to rejection and abandonment. Rest assured there will be a reaction, so be prepared for it. Before disclosing, assess the relationship and the person you are about to disclose to. What will you gain from disclosing? Is the relationship worth risking your confidentiality?
HIV does not define who you are or what type of person you are. HIV does not rob you of your desires, your goals, or your personality. Healthy, rewarding relationships are possible for people living with HIV. Don’t compromise your standards or settle for anyone less than you desire for fear of that person being your only choice. Having HIV does not mean you are desperate. Never lose your self esteem.
If you choose to use online services, use the same precautions anyone using such services would use. Your first meeting should be in a public place. Do not divulge too much personal information too soon. Do not let your guard down until you are sure the person you have met online can be trusted and is who he or she says she is. MOST of all, before your relationship becomes sexual, you MUST disclose your status to your partner.
The world doesn’t end if you have HIV….
Tom Thayer
info: http://aids.about.com/od/legalissues/a/hivdating_2.htm
China and its Growing HIV Problems
China has long a history of trying to keep any information from leaving its borders if its negative. And of all, HIV is a huge embarrassment to admit. Recently, China has been forthcoming regarding its HIV problems but the West feels its a lot worse than they want to admit.
The Government has said there are 650,000 HIV/AIDS cases, half of them among intravenous drug users, out of a nation of 1.3 billion people. (Although this overall estimate of HIV and AIDS cases was lowered in January 2006 – in a report put together by the Chinese Government, the World Health Organization and the Joint United Nations Program on HIV(UNAIDS) – from 840,000 to 650,000. Epidemiology experts have said that 1.5 million infected with HIV is closer to the true figure.
Washington DC-Highest HIV Infection Rate
That news was announced awhile ago but still holds true. Its sad to see in our Nations Capital, where world decisions are made and politicians roam the streets. Where billions of dollars are negotiated but barely a block away lays the Countries worse HIV infection problem.
And it’s not just a problem in DC proper, 47% of the regions AIDS cases are located outside the District of Columbia. Virginia & Maryland are experiencing higher cases of HIV infections. With the Government repealing the Needle Exchange Law and funding being cut in many health related areas, we are worried that all the gains that were made will be erased.
Tom Thayer
source: http://www.regionforward.org/hivaids-a-major-problem-the-dc-region-must-overcome
2011 Year in Review- HIV Spikes Among MSM
The overall number of new domestic HIV infections is about 50,000 every year. Gay and bisexual men — or “men who have sex with men” (MSM) in public health jargon — account for nearly two-thirds of new infections.
Infection rates in almost all groups are relatively stable — except among young MSM, especially young MSM of color. Infections in that group have soared by 48% from 2006 to 2009. A recent study found almost one in three black MSM are positive, compared to about one in six white MSM. Young, positive black MSM are also among the least likely to be aware of their infection, putting their own health at risk (and potentially that of others).
Researchers, policy experts and advocates are trying to pinpoint why this is happening (there are many theories), and hope to mobilize a better response to the issue.
http://www.thebody.com/content/64906/10-hiv-aids-stories-that-defined-2011-in-the-us.html?getPage=8
2011 AIDS Year in Review- Criminalizing the Epidemic
Pop quiz: Who are the global leaders in prosecuting people for potential HIV exposures? The surprising answer: the U.S. and Canada.
Recent years have seen a surge in arrests and harsh prosecutions of people with HIV — such as the gay, black man living with HIV in Michigan who faced bio-terrorism charges after he allegedly bit another man during a brawl. Another HIV positive man was convicted of assault even though his partner was aware of his status! Even spitting caused controversy this year, despite the fact that HIV can’t be transmitted through saliva.
The U.S. National HIV/AIDS Strategy emphasizes that stigma and discrimination remain “extremely high,” and calls for a review of all criminalization laws. Rep. Barbara Lee recently introduced the REPEAL HIV Discrimination Act in Congress. Let’s hope there is some serious progress in 2012.
http://www.thebody.com/content/64906/10-hiv-aids-stories-that-defined-2011-in-the-us.html?getPage=9
2011 HIV Year in Review-”Treatment as Prevention”
Public health experts now believe that quickly linking people with new HIV diagnoses to treatment reduces their likelihood of transmitting the virus. Study results announced this year showed that HIV treatment can reduce sexual transmission of the virus by up to 96%. This approach has come to be known as “treatment as prevention,” or TasP. In the U.S., TasP has special implications for blacks, who make up 56% of all “late testers.” Late testers may benefit less from antiretrovirals and may also be at increased risk for transmitting HIV due to higher viral loads.
U.S. officials are excited enough about TasP that it was highlighted in a major speech by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on the global pandemic. But some advocates wonder: Will a focus on TasP hurt other prevention efforts and make people with HIV unfairly responsible for keeping all of society negative?”
http://www.thebody.com/content/64906/10-hiv-aids-stories-that-defined-2011-in-the-us.html?getPage=6
2011 in Review-More Football Scandals Surfacing-Wyoming Coach Resigns
More scandals regarding football coaches are showing up after Penn States problems. A high school football coach, Pat Lynch in Wyoming has resigned after making his players fill out a ”Hurt Feelings Report” in which students were asked to select from various offensive options to describe why they were upset. To see this offensive report, clink on the link;http://trib.com/lynch-s-survey-to-players/pdf_8f9f2292-253b-5952-b4ee-70d13411ea85.html
What makes this story even worse, is that Coach Pat Lynch is also the schools guidance counselor. The story downhill more. He’s resigned his job as head coach after 13 successful years at Buffalo Wyoming High School team that went to the playoffs 12 years and won 2 state titles, but still will hold his position as school guidance counselor. Incredible, after seeing his “Hurt Feelings Report”, I only wonder if sometimes schools would rather ‘look the other way’ if they have winning teams. His ‘report’ goes beyond bullying. This person is now still counseling youth? And school systems locally are worried about our agency handing out condoms?
I truly wonder wonder how people can look at themselves in the mirror.
Tom Thayer
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